Telling Us So
by chichitehahh
Summary: Rachel always was that moon-eyed girl, and Quinn the dirt the universe loved to step on. The collision of the Moon and Earth was always bound to happen eventually, and it's effects could only ever lead to catastrophe.


In time, I guess my life really was leading up to this moment. Everyone needed closure, everyone needed that final goodbye. My entire high school career was focused around Beth, and growing to realize who I was. There was, of course, always that one person that my growth seemed to revolve around; the others were outside factors that only slowly led me to that final realization in senior year. The wedding, the songs, the car accident…everything added up and by the time my eyes were finally opened, she wasn't anyone's but his.

I had lost my chance, the fight that I had given; it could only be described as minimal. Pain was never my thing, when you hide from negative emotions, pain, discomfort; when your life is spent avoiding such things, having to face it…it's unbearable the first time. And watching the girl that I had finally realized I was so madly in love with marry her high school sweetheart that was all wrong for her, I didn't want that. It was almost as unbearable as asking her that question and hearing her answer. Of course it was for him, it will always be for and because of _him_.

But I sucked it up, I had to. For her. My life revolved around her, you see. It always had. And hers revolved around Finn. We were almost like the Earth and moon, circling the sun, each at a set distance, close only for moments and distant for months. I'd never touch her. Not like I so desperately wanted to. Not for years. Not until it would be that final catastrophe. When everything exploded around us, and we were forced to collide. Not until tonight when everything crashed around us.

This dance was never my plan, the satin sheets, the soft sighs, the way she touched me…this wasn't how it was supposed to be. We both just wanted to feel again. She had lost a love as had I. Our differences were minute: her wounds were far more recent, and mine had existed for years and still open to this day. To this very night. Her tan fingertips danced across the flesh where they lay, and she was so gentle. Like she knew they existed. Like she'd known all along.

When our lips touch, it's soft. Almost like ghosts. We don't want to believe this is real, her reasons are lost on me but my own are for self-preservation. My own are selfish. I have this need to inflict my own pain it seems. Falling into bed with a woman I've never truly stopped loving. It began as a way to feel something different, yet it's growing to be a monster in my room. Sitting in the corner watching, waiting. He'll stay there until she no doubt leaves.

I'll be left to cry. And the demon in the corner will leave me with an 'I told you so' and be on his way. He'll wait until I give her everything once again, happily smirking until he gloats once more, and repeats the cycle.

Our bodies roll, dance, shiver, collapse. It should be romantic, it should be happy. She should be happy. I should be overjoyed. But I'm not. I still can't feel anything more than the suffocation she always brought on. It would never end; she'd always be that girl that I'd never forget. She'll be there watching when I fall. And she'll be those hands picking me up again, encouraging me to try once more. What she won't realize is she'll be encouraging me to try for her again. Those doe eyes will be pleading for me to never give up, just as I had pleaded with her to do the same years ago.

Secrets spill from my lips, secrets she should never know. Secrets I promised myself she'd never know. The irony comes when she confirms the matter. The fact that I knew long before now. Long before I whispered the words out. She knew I loved her. She knew all along.

When the sheets slip off my skin, when she leaves for the cover of the restroom I am left to lay there as she always had me. Bare. Completely exposed for her to see everything I had in me.

The demon in the corner sneers, and I'm left to sit up in bed and wait for only a few beats before I know what it is that she wants. To leave without having to see my face. She can't stand to see the wreck she's created, the pile-up of disaster that will unleash the moment she leaves the apartment. We were only meant to be here as a catastrophe. This was only meant to exist should the end have been near, our own impending doom where we have lost all we knew in ourselves.

Without him, I can only imagine what shell she must feel she is. And without her living and instead accepting herself as that shell…I'll soon learn that pain along with the one that exists now. We'll never talk about this again. It will be that night that never happened. There wasn't any proof; there wasn't anyone that knew of our actions. She'd leave, I'd ignore it, and things would only develop there. Another atmosphere would grow and evolve from our collision. Its how our world worked.

You couldn't destroy something so strong that lived in someone, they could try but it would always exist. She would always exist in myself. And I can only pray that I'd exist in her as well, but I feel like we all know the truth that will take place in her. He will be that part of her she'll never forget and that will always exist. And why wouldn't he? He was her true love, I have no place there. But she will always have a place with me. Me and my foolish self.

I told her so.

* * *

**I'm not sure where this came from. I watched a Youtube video and this scene came to mind. I want to apologize for my lack of anything, it's been really hard for me to put words to everything in my head, it's not so much a writers block because I have ideas, it's getting those ideas onto paper or a word document that I'm struggling with. **

**I hope you enjoy, I feel like I'll get requests to continue this and I think I might, however it won't be so much of a story as it will be inner monologues like this one, and all of them will be in Quinn's point of view. Feel free to favorite, and leave some constructive criticism, or better yet go ahead and ask for something you'd like to see me write! I'm open to almost anything.**

**Also, I'm going to be experimenting with other ships, Puckleberry will definitely be one. I can tell you now that Brittana will not be featured as I cannot write Brittany with any justice. Her mind-set confuses me and personally that ship was destroyed by RIB once they got a hold of it. Quinntana maybe, Danchel (yes Dani and Rachel) may be one, Dantana, and maybe others. It depends on what comes to me!**


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